To Those Who Wait

Recently I woke up in the middle of the night giggling. What a great way to come out of sleep. I don't remember my dream at all, but obviously something in it must have been amusing. It's normal for me not to remember my dreams and the majority of the time I feel as though I have dreamless sleep. Then a few nights later there was another exception to my normal and boring sleep cycle, however instead of waking up and laughing I woke, upset and scared. Like I said, I don't usually remember very many details of my dreams and normally I just brush them off, but what I do remember about this particular one was that something bad happened to my mom. So the minute I was lucid enough to relax and take a deep breath, I called her at work to tell her I loved her. I just wanted to hear her voice and make sure she was OK so that I could move on with my day. Minds work in the most mysterious ways. I normally wouldn't try to analyze my dream, but I think it's because I miss her a lot and the distance is hard.

I realized the other day while driving that things out here no longer feel completely unfamiliar and totally opposite from what I'm used to. I know my way around a number of areas and have even figured out alternate routes and believe it or not, a few shortcuts! This is a familiar feeling that I had when I went away to college and before I knew it I could find my way around Oneonta without much difficulty at all. It's just harder out here because 82.9 % of the population of CO lives in the Front Range, so you can only imagine how many people are always around and how annoying traffic is! It makes me happy that I have finally started to adapt, while at the same time I continually think to myself..."this is something that I will never get used to".

I'm not embarrassed or ashamed to also admit that I still get homesick. I don't think being this far away from friends and family is something that I'll ever get used to and I don't think it's giving up or giving in to want to move back to the East when we're ready to settle down. At least once a day something out here makes me think of home, whether it's a dog that reminds me of Tillie, a meal that's being prepared, the air on a particular afternoon, or just a feeling I get waking up some mornings. I'm not saying that every day I spend out here I wake up and wish I was back in NY, I just know that home is near family and if I'm not near family I will never feel at home. The best part about feeling that way is that it means that I grew up well and came from a good family, that I'm proud to be a member of and have good friends that I need to see more than once a year.

I've been pretty disapointed the last few months because I haven't been able to figure out a way to get home for Christmas. A recent phone call with my parents has turned that around. Mike and I will be driving my Focus home and then trade my parents for the Jeep which means...WE'LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS! I have a week of paid vacation and I can't think of a better way to spend it. Plus, Mike hasn't been home since last October and this will give us a chance to finally travel together. So it's a mini vacation for us and a chance to spend some time together. I can't wait! I'm freakin' pumped! Everytime I think about this trip it makes me smile. What a great feeling. The first year we spent in Colorado was pretty hard, but things are starting to feel better. It's awesome to have some good stuff to look forward to, and I think the next few months are going to fly by.